When Nat Shed came to Meeting to talk about Friends Camp in China Maine, he said a few key words that I actually did hear - "No TV, No Phone, No Computer and Someone else did the cooking." No, it's not Club Med and we were going to sleep in bunk beds, but I thought just maybe it would be good quality time with our children without the every day happenings that pull us away. We went August 19th through the 25th. The whole family went and Darrin came later in the week.
What I didn't realize was how great my children are when I am not reminding them. Nate is a very competitive young man. There was a tetherball tournament. As soon as it was announced, I thought, "Oh, boy, this is not going to turn out well because someone is going to lose and of course, no one likes to lose, especially not a child. So, when the tournament started there were about ten pairs playing and they each played the best out of three until there were just two pairs left , one in each age group; and of course, one was Nate. As the final game began both boys were very excited. They were evenly matched - both about the same size and age and both, very competitive. The first two games were split, one to one. The final game seemed to last and last and last! At the final blow Nate nailed the ball and it spun wildly over his opponent's head and he won. He began to celebrate but stopped when the other boy began to scream. Ah, losing is not that much fun and even harder when a crowd is cheering. Thinking that his tantrum would last but a moment we all waited, but it lasted longer and then escalated as his mother tried in vain to calm him down. Nate looked at his father and me, and said, "I won fair". We reassured him and asked him to just step away. The boy ran off into the woods and was gone for about 2 hours. Nate asked repeatedly about him and if he was OK. When he returned to the group, the children were all playing cricket and the adults (including me) were off doing other things. When I returned, Nate ran up to the boy's mother and said, "We are friends again. We shook hands and congratulated each other for a game well played." He came over and I smiled and we hugged. He went back playing and I realized how grown up my boy is.
Sam's favorite part of Friends Camp was the never ending chocolate milk. If you were looking for Sam, he was at the milk machine! Nate and Jacque loved the games at night. We could just sit and play cards or board games with other children and families. Darrin and I made some great friends as well. For me it was just nice to see my husband be able to take a few days off uninterrupted and enjoy his family.
I saw Jacque every day and noticed changes; little things that maybe only a mother can see. But, sometimes they surprise you and catch you off guard. You lose your breath and tears well up in your eyes and you sit silently soaking up the moment. In everyday hurried life we miss these things. The baby is crying, dinner is burning, the phone is ringing and you turn around , and the moment is gone, never to be seen again. The week was full of these moments of sharing with others, caring about each other and time for us to reflect on ourselves. Saturday evening there was a campfire. We started with a few minutes of silence and the tradition is that everyone has a stick and you stand by the fire and say what you've learned or what you are thankful for or just what ever you are feeling and then toss your stick into the fire.
My Jacque is a crazy girl. She would jump off the roof if she thought she could. But, when it comes to standing in front of a crowd and speaking, she shuts down. I know it's hard to believe, but then there was only one other little girl there, Abby. Well, Abby would stand up in front of a million people and sing and dance, but would never consider jumping off the roof of any building even if it were on fire. The girls found each other and as the week wore on, they could be found doing something: building fairy houses, teaching each other cheers, dancing, and singing - just girl stuff. They held hands and skipped and laughed and that night sat with each other at the campfire. Abby got up and said that what she liked most about Friends Camp was her new friend. Then Jacque stood up, she walked to the fire and threw her stick. It missed the fire and landed about five feet on the other side. She got flustered and didn't know what to do. Abby felt around on the ground and found another stick, hurried over to Jacque and handed it to her. She whispered in her ear, then held her hand until Jacque was ready to say what she liked most about Friends Camp. "I like sharing with my friends".
There I was, silently glowing in the dark. My little girl and her friend, Abby, working things out together. They sat down giggling, with firelight flickering on their faces. I thought, this is what I came here for; I came to see my children.
I really would like to add how thankful we are that the Meeting sponsored us to go. I understand that this is offered every year, but we are the first to accept the offer. It really made a difference. I am sure we will bring the children again and again.
Diana Mendes